CMPS and Other Physical Challenges

For the few who read my blog and may not know about the health issues I live with, but sometimes write about, here's the deal:

I suffer the consequences of hard living when I was younger. Two bad knees (my right knee has been operated on twice, the second time was a major reconstruction including building a bone bridge to relocate a tendin and regrinding the knee cap and socket), a torn disk, a permanently damaged shoulder, multiple concusions, a stroke, multiple broken bones (including a broken neck), sprains, strains, and torn ligaments, and that's just what I can remember or have been reminded of (I have some permanent memory problems because of the stroke). I also suffer from wrestless leg syndrome and a neurological disorder similar to parkinsons (praise God the medications work to control the tremors - just don't ask me to write neatly!), and occational seizures that are similar to panick attacks.

On top of that is CMPS (Chronic Myofacial Pain Syndrome) and Fibromyalgia (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a by product - which also leads to near constant irritability). These are rare neuromuscular diseases that are especially rare in men (I'm so special!). It hit me nearly 10 years ago. I was on my way home from work late one evening and it was dark and I couldn't see a curbing that was sticking out and unmarked. I didn't think anything of it at the time. Minor damage to the car and I didn't feel hurt.

At about 2am the next morning my "adventure" began. I was awakened by agonizing pain in my back, ribs, and sternum. Imagine living with a wrenched back, broken ribs that won't heal, a really bad sunburn under your skin and a body that simply turns off at somepoint each day. I ended up unable to work for 14 months. Mostly, I sat in a recliner day and night alternating ice packs and a heating pad, with very little sleep each night. The hardest thing was that I could no longer wrestle with my two little (at that time) boys. During the 14 months I underwent myriads of tests, medications, home and alternative medicines and therapies, and nothing worked to any great extent. I saw so many Dr.'s and specialists that I lost count. They drew so much blood I could have opened my own personal blood bank. Nine months into all of this, I saw a Dr. who finally gave me a name to go with the pain. Paige and I sat in his office and cried. I finally had an answer. No cure, but at this point I was just glad to have a name and proof I wasn't crazy (at least clinically).

Through the years we have tried so many things, and have endured miriads of people who "have a friend who uses .... and it works so you have to try it." I try to be polite and listen, but I've tried so many things, including some whacky stuff, but I always try to validate claims with real research. We finally had a great combination, until VIOXX got pulled from the market. What I take now isn't as good, and I would gladly endure the risks if I were able to take it.

For now, I live with the up and down pain. I live with the medication "cocktail" that is working enough so that I am able to function most days. I take naps nearly every day (sounds great, but many days it's a hastle!). Some days I can do anything I want, while others, I'm like a vegetable in a recliner (and everything in-between). Fortunately, right now there are typically more good days than bad.

Through all of this, my most amazing, loving wife, has had to become the primary pread winner, and care for two active and athletic boys, and a sometimes invalid husband. She never knows from one moment to the next (nor do I) if I will be able to change a lighbulb or build a building. I am so thankful to God for bringing her into my life. I know that I couldn't endure this without her love, and the love of my gracious Lord, Jesus Christ.

That's pretty much it. It's enough. It sounds like a mess, and it is. One thing I have learned through this is empathy for those who may look healthy on the outside, but are dealing with unseen challenges. It's the "thorn inthe flesh" that I have been given, and I pray that I live with it in a way that brings honor and glory to Jesus Christ!